I’d wear a toga if I had one

Left another job in the dust. Going to be working at a new shop close to home. Walking every day, no bus, no metro, no uber, just my legs carrying me to toil away.

I’m trying to tighten up the radius of my life. Life in the city is complicated and stressful, and I want to simplify. Walk whenever possible. Cook chili’s, stews and soups. Keep workouts quick and efficient. Compound movements and bodyweight exercises. I might cancel my gym membership.

I love the idea of learning Muay Thai, but I need individual instruction. It’s a waste of time and money to take a class with 20 other variously experienced and skilled chubs and chumps. One instructor giving barely audible commands while you punch and kick an out of shape 22 year old doesn’t translate into solid martial arts skills.

So the Muay Thai has to go, at least for now. It’s also too far away, and puts me back on a bus during rush hour.

My life is boring on the surface right now, but I’m feeling okay. Trying to get back into the habit of writing every day. I’ll be funny and interesting again soon, I promise.

I don’t have thoughts right now that aren’t really strained and contrived, but I have been chewing on this little bit: I want to walk the middle path between constant striving and improvement and total sloth and despair. Sometimes it seems as though those are the only two options.

If you aren’t ceaselessly active and creative and competing, you are a sliding and sinking into a pit of larded sadness, a wastrel and wallower. More girls, more money, more muscles, more achievements, more hobbies and habits, right?

The only alternative to this rabid expansion is stupor and torpor, passive and listless drifting, masturbation marathons and Chinese food. Walking around in mustard stained wife beaters and pizza sauced sweat pants, smelling like a damp hamper and talking like a punch drunk boxer after 10 shots of barrel bottom whisky.

If you aren’t traveling the world, learning new languages, banging new girls, updating your style and upgrading your lifestyle, networking, working out, fighting feminists, fighting leftists, globalists, juicing, on the juice, reading six books at once, then what are you?

There has to be a way of life that is prudent, active but not restless and voracious, contemplative but not complacent. Old school stoicism or epicureanism is what I’m thinking here, with a modern, decadent twist of course. You tend to your garden, cultivate friendships, learning, and health without being compulsive.

More and more I love paring away, cutting out the excess and focusing on the core of what’s important. Not that I know exactly what that is, but I intend to get closer to it.

Author: The Empty Subject

Born curmudgeon

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